On Wednesday I had the opportunity to do something amazing for myself. Whether you want to call itself care or a necessity for my business (to me it's both!) I had a session with Susanne Grant. I went to Susanne for her healing coaching as I've been feeling stuck and lost lately, not just in my business but in life in general.
We started working on me feeling stuck in my life right now and it was so multi-layered. It was a combination of anger, of feeling like things were unfair and feeling disconnected from my husband. The last part was a huge surprise to me because I love my husband 100% and if there is a "one" for everyone, he's mine. But these feelings kept being brought up by him.
I felt like it was coming from me not feeling appreciate by him anymore since I work from home and we have a child that hasn't started school yet and if you've been there, you know what I mean. It turns out that he had nothing to do with it, not really. It all originated from me being rejected at my last job after having my daughter. If you're not familiar with my story then basically I was supposed to go back to work after I had my daughter but the project I contracted to restructured and suddenly I wasn't needed anymore as they'd given my managerial job to an administrator.
That made me feel like shit and I struggled to even be considered for other jobs once people found out I'd had a baby. I was even told 5 months after I left my last job that my experience wasn't recent enough anymore – 5 months!! That rejection led me to deciding to start my own business; I ended up starting more than one and going on this huge journey of self development.
But back to Susanne! She helped me to realise that this rejection actually meant that I wasn't supposed to be going back to this job, as the universe was guiding me towards something much bigger and much more rewarding – coaching.
I'm here on this earth to help people, and the unfair treatment I received was a jumping board to facilitate this change in my life and help me to understand my clients better, to help them thrive too. When my clients come to me feeling rejected and lonely and like no one is listening, I get it, I've been there and Susanne helped me to see how beneficial this is to my clients. By embracing it all, it helps me to connect with my clients and help them move passed it all too.
The feeling of stuck showed itself again after we'd cleared the first block and to Susanne it felt like a metal plate infused with my lower back. As it turned out this metal was the representation of the car I had at 17, it felt orange too, just like my rust bucket car! The story around buying that car made such an impact on me and it was keeping me stuck as a teenager (which probably won't surprise my husband!) We got my 16 year old, 17 year old and current self to do a beautiful forgiveness exercise to release my money issues opening me up for abundance – I made 2 sales in 24 hours after that! And since then?
I've felt awesome.
I've had this renewed energy in my business that has made me want to jump onto my laptop, engage with everyone on social media, share what I have to say with anyone who will listen (or read) and I'm finally feeling like this business I started 18 months ago will actually work the way I want it to. I have a way to go to get to the point I want to be at but I don't feel stuck anymore. I don't feel like things are unfair anymore. I feel free and I feel awesome.
Am I fixed for good? Probably not. Blocks are like onions, they have so many layers. When you reach a new level, you reach a new 'devil', which you will need to deal with then. But for now I'm good and I look forward to see how long I can ride this wave for and where it'll take me – I'm getting all Moana about it right now!
So, who is Susanne?
Susanne is an international Hypnobirthing & Healing coach who specialises in (Birth) Trauma, PTSD & Body Issues. She coaches women around the world to heal (sexual) abuse & trauma as well as prior traumatic births. While pregnant, Susanne's experience of child abuse put her on a different road of care from her team of midwives. This experience gave her a new mission in life and she is now helping others to transform wounds from the past through her coaching business.
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